Dualism vs becoming the mind

I’ve noticed how uncontrolled and undisciplined I am at times. My actions are way different from what I feel my heart really wants to do, stuff that is aligned with my dreams and goals, stuff that will give me real satisfaction ultimately.

I feel this is because my mind is still like a small child – restless and uncontrolled. Most times I am just acting as an agent of my mind – becoming one with my mind, I just follow its whims and fancies, yielding to small temptations and distractions that may give some immediate satisfaction to it, but not really to my soul.

However I realize that I do have a identity seperate from my mind – I in fact can observe my mind and see how its demands vary and can be unreasonable. Acting as a supervisory adult, I can consciously allow and supervise my mind and control it’s say in my life and actions. Mind has its role in helping with logical thinking, problem solving and stuff. But letting it take control of the entire decision making process is pretty stupid. I as an adult (i.e. the real me) can and should maintain and strengthen my identity seperate from my mind and make smart use of this powerful equiment called the mind; using it as a subservient mechanism to live a meaningful life, not becoming subservient to it and let it run wild that usually always results in some regret for any reasonably developed human being.

This requires practice of course. Its a matter of habit – a fundamentally different way of decision making and learning to use the mind.  Like cultivating a new habit, its gonna take effort.

Over time I feel the mind will actually grow up, just like a small child grows more controlled provided proper supervision over time. It may become eventually easier to lead and use – just like its easier to live with and guide a more controlled kid than a spoilt restless brat.